Quiet Hour

He walked in, looking amazing, and I felt myself light up under his gaze.
But as I replay each moment, I wonder - did I lose sight of who I am?
What started out as simple exchanges became months of blurred boundaries.
He never spoke of her, and I never asked, but was that my own denial?
When I learned he had someone else, I questioned everything I believed about myself.
How did I become the person I always said I wouldn't be?
Is my integrity just a fragile idea, easily bent by longing?
I never meant to be the other woman, yet here I am, wrestling with guilt and confusion.
This ache feels unbearable. and I'm left asking:
Am I making excuses, just like those women I've heard of, just like my mama used to do?
He flirts so easily, and I let myself be drawn in - 
Is it weakness or just human nature to want what feels natural, right; even when it's wrong?
My body responds before my mind can catch up,
And I wonder if I ever truly listened to the warnings.
He stands close, his warmth tempting me to forget my doubts
His touches linger, and I question whether I'm mistaking comfort for connection.
Did I believe in something that was never real?
Now, i feel cheap and used, but I also see a chance to learn.
Sorting through my feelings, I ask myself:
Can I forgive this version of me?
Maybe tomorrow, I'll catch that familiar spark in his eyes,
Still hoping he'll tease me, even though I know she's there.
I wonder if he'll ever chose me... am I just wishing for the impossible?
Even as I gather the pieces of my longing, I find myself wishing for more,
Trying to be gentle with my heart, even as it aches for his attention.
I reach for comfort in the moments we share, letting laughter soften my doubts.
Because even when I question my own integrity,
Hope lingers quietly - 
Maybe he'll see me, and maybe, just maybe he'll chose me.