Quiet Hour

I carried you for such a short time,
but it changed everything.
You weren't planned - 
but the second I knew you were there,
I was already yours.
As quickly as you came,
you were taken from me.
I wasn't ready to lose you.
I never wanted to let you go.
I watch your siblings grow
and I wonder who you might've been.
Would you have your brother's eyes?
Would you have been wild, quiet,
curious, or stubborn? I'll never know.
Sometimes I look at your sister
and wonder if you would've shared their fire, 
or softened their edges with your own kind of light.
I never got to count your toes
Never got to hear your cry
Never got to see your face
But I feel you... 
in the silence, in the ache, in the space you left behind
You were real to me 
Even if the world never saw you
You were mine
And I'll always wonder - 
were you another boy,
or would you have been a girl
who would've wrecked me
with her beauty and fire?
You're gone from my body,
but never from my heart.
I carry you still, I always will.